Random Acts of Senseless Hunger

Today I'm going to try something a little different. Instead of focusing my energy on one topic I'm going to get into a few different things that are great and some other things that have been bothering me lately. I might even delve into some sweet food that I haven't eaten in a while and will ponder consuming in the coming days.

FUCK THIS BITCH

"Za"-
Apparently people in my general vicinity have begun abbreviating the word "pizza" to the repugnant "za." I am against this in every way shape and form. "Pizza" is not a difficult word to pronounce. It has two syllables, and any moron with the typical amount of chromosomes should be able to pronounce the word correctly. Even if you were the type of person who was unable to speak that easy noun correctly, it would probably be the "za" part giving you trouble. Pee is something that comes out of your body a few times a day and most five year olds say the word on a regular basis. However, associating pee and food is only for the most extreme deviants so obviously this most unnecessary abbreviation went to the other end of the spectrum. If you hear someone say "za" do the rest of the English speaking population a favor and slap them in the face. You know I will.

Not a sandwich?

Open Faced Sandwiches-
I went to dinner tonight and ended up ordering a hot roast beef sandwich. I didn't really know what I was ordering because my judgment was cloudy. I'm not exactly sure what I expected but I know what I got: a small amount of beef on two slices of white bread smothered in gravy. I'm not complaining about the taste because the beef was decent and the gravy was good. I AM complaining about the fact that this is somehow called a sandwich. I am under the impression that you need two slices of bread or two similar pieces of matter with meat or a different piece of matter in the middle. I now present to you the Merriam-Webster definition of a sandwich:

¹sand·wich

Pronunciation:

\ˈsan(d)-ˌwich, ˈsam-; dialect ˈsaŋ-\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich died 1792 English diplomat

Date:

1762

1 a: two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between b: one slice of bread covered with food
2: something resembling a sandwich; especially : composite structural material consisting of layers often of high-strength facings bonded to a low strength central core

There it is, right in front of my stupid face; one slice of bread covered with food equals sandwich. My whole world has been turned upside down. From this point on I completely refuse to eat a sandwich with a fork and knife. Just because some stupid jerk dictionary tells me that is a sandwich does not mean I have to accept it.

The Real

Microwaved bacon. Turkey bacon. Vegetarian bacon.-
FUCK THAT.

Lucky bear

Salmon-
My favorite fish in the whole world. I like salmon cooked any way in any style and even eat it raw. Some of my favorite salmon dishes are sake (salmon sushi), salmon teriyaki, grilled salmon, pan fried salmon with lemon and butter, baked salmon... Any way you could possibly cook salmon is something I would potentially enjoy. I often daydream about what life would be like to live in Washington or some northwestern state and fish for salmon for a living, or at my leisure. I doubt I would make much money if it was my occupation because much of the profits would be consumed, but I think it would be very rewarding.