The Love Boat

One of my favorite food styles is sushi. Some say sushi is art, and much like bad art, bad sushi can leave you feeling queasy and confused. GOOD sushi however will warm your heart and cleanse your soul, much like the embrace of an 18 year old co-ed. The quality of the sushi is probably 75% freshness of fish and 25% competence of the sushi chef preparing your meal. Do not go to a Chinese food takeout shithole and expect to get any good sushi. Treat yourself right, go to a sushi house run by Japanese people and give them all your money, because it's worth it.

My favorite kind of sushi is salmon, which also happens to be my favorite fish. Almost nothing beats the taste of fresh salmon. Sometimes I lay awake at night staring at my ceiling, and pondering to myself, how much better would this world be if every man woman and child were able to have fresh salmon regularly. I dream about rivers filled with the beautiful fish, rivers that almost seem to be more salmon than water.

Some other kinds of sushi that I enjoy are eel, tuna, and shrimp. I have had many other pieces but rarely get them. I also like rolls a lot. Salmon roll, tuna roll, shrimp tempura roll, dragon roll, tiger roll, salmon lover's roll, spicy salmon roll, spicy tuna roll, california roll, and even a cucumber roll from time to time. Any rolls that have cream cheese in them can fuck off. I don't know if they ever did this in Japan, or if this is something new that americanized sushi chefs decided to implement for a more 'local' flavor, but it's disgusting. When I see one of these rolls on the menu I think about the middle aged man who lives in his moms basement who gets turkey and cream cheese sandwiches brought down to his lair while watching old episodes of Battlestar Gallactica.

One the negative aspects of sushi is that poor people (or fat people) can't get full off of a sushi meal without spending ridiculous amounts of money or filling up on rice instead of fish. This problem has been solved in many areas, including my hometown of Long Beach. When I go to Long Beach to visit my parents there is a mandatory trip to all you can eat sushi at Yummy Yummy. For $25 and a smile you can choose from many varieties of sushi pieces, rolls, and a specialty roll (which usually goes for about $10 alone). One year we had an contest to see who could eat the most sushi. My current roommate Jesse won, and if you count each section of your roll as an individual piece, his total was 67. I only totaled 48 but I think I could have gotten 60. I knew I had been beaten and decided to bow out of the race at that point. What was most impressive about Jesse's feat was not the amount of sushi per say, but the fact that he had done it all, the night after Thanksgiving, and he still had not taken his Thanksgiving dinner shit yet. Incredible.

The idea of all you can eat sushi is groundbreaking, but it lacks something. There is a certain air of gluttony in this nation that seems to be left unaddressed. While you are getting all you can eat, you must make several orders to the waitress and sometimes wait for your next round of sushi to be made. If a restaurant is busy this could take a while. Some say that its good to digest your food and have some space in between but thats not how I, and a multitude of others feel; especially the people at Minado.



It's hard to explain the feeling you get when you walk into this place. It's kind of like a combination of your first blowjob and the scene in Jurrasic Park when they see the dinosaurs for the first time and Dr. Hammond exclaims, "Welcome to Jurrasic Park." The amount of sushi laid out is almost unfathomable. The one that I have been to on a few occasions is in Carle Place. There are a few others in the Northeast, including one in New York City but I have not been to any of them. All their fish is really fresh and it is all prepared with expertise. The seafood and other things that have there are really good too but that's not very important at this moment. I'd say the one thing that really brought a tear to my eye is the huge plate of salmon sashimi they have next to the wasabi and ginger. Seeing that much fresh salmon piled high for anyone to sample or pig out on is heavenly.

My favorite place (and now only place) to get sushi in the Capital District is Sushi-Tei. It is located in Guilderland, next door to a guns and ammo store. The freshest sushi in the area and definitely the best deals. Their wait staff is excellent. My usual waitress Jacki is one of the nicest people I have ever encountered working in food service. If you dine in you can get each piece for a dollar. They have a lunch special called the special rolls box that includes two rolls of your choice, 4 dumplings, miso soup, ginger salad and some fruit and only for $9. At many places you would spend that much on the two rolls themselves. They also have my current favorite specialty roll, the tiger roll. The tiger roll is a tuna roll with a fresh piece of salmon laid over the top. It seems so simple but the two flavors combined are enough to give your tongue an erection.

Some people love to preach about sushi etiquette and claim that if you eat improperly or ignore certain customs it is insulting to your sushi chef. I find this ridiculous. In every sushi place that I have eaten in etiquette is highly ignored and the thing that will gain you respect is being polite and friendly. It might help your case to have some knowledge of sushi but I doubt anyone will look down their nose at you if you are mostly ignorant. Just be willing to try new things without making faces like an 8-year-old.

Sushi gets you high. Eating food that looks that good, that tastes that good, will make you feel good. I wholeheartedly believe that eating sushi can release endorphins in your brain. I have had other people tell me they have gotten high after eating a sushi meal. Maybe its the fish, or maybe its the atmosphere, or maybe its the sake-bombs. Whatever it is, its a great feeling.